What Not To Say In Child Custody Mediation

August 26, 2021

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Child access mediation is a vital process for resolving disputes related to child custody and visitation arrangements. It aims to create a fair and workable plan that prioritises the best interests of the child. While mediation offers a collaborative and less adversarial approach compared to court proceedings, it’s essential to navigate the process carefully. Understanding what not to do during child access mediation can help parents avoid common pitfalls and ensure a more productive and positive outcome. In this blog, we will explore key actions to avoid to maintain a respectful and effective mediation environment.

 

Avoid Using the Child as a Bargaining Chip

One of the most detrimental actions in child access mediation is using the child as a bargaining chip to gain leverage in negotiations. This approach can be emotionally damaging to the child and counterproductive to reaching a fair agreement. It’s crucial to remember that the primary goal of mediation is to serve the best interests of the child. Manipulating the situation to achieve personal gains not only undermines the mediation process but also places undue stress on the child, potentially leading to long-term emotional harm.

 

Refrain from Making Assumptions

Making assumptions about the other party’s intentions, feelings, or actions can lead to misunderstandings and hinder effective communication. Assumptions often stem from past conflicts and can cloud judgment, preventing a clear and objective view of the current situation. Instead of assuming, it’s important to ask questions and seek clarification. This approach fosters open dialogue and helps both parties understand each other’s perspectives, paving the way for more constructive discussions and solutions.

 

Don’t Let Emotions Take Over

While it’s natural to feel emotional during mediation, allowing emotions to control your actions or decisions can derail the process. Emotional outbursts, such as anger or frustration, can escalate conflicts and make it difficult to reach a resolution. It’s important to manage your emotions and remain calm and composed. Techniques such as deep breathing, taking breaks, and focusing on the child’s needs can help maintain a level-headed approach. A calm demeanor contributes to a more respectful and productive mediation environment.

 

Avoid Blaming or Accusing

Blaming or accusing the other party can create a hostile atmosphere and hinder the mediation process. This approach often leads to defensiveness and further conflict, making it difficult to find common ground. Instead of assigning fault, focus on identifying the issues and working collaboratively to find solutions. A blame-free approach encourages cooperation and helps both parties feel more willing to engage in constructive dialogue.

 

Keep the Child Out of Adult Issues

Involving the child in adult conflicts and discussions can be highly detrimental to their emotional well-being. Children should be shielded from the stress and complexities of mediation. Discussing adult issues in front of the child or using them to relay messages can create confusion and anxiety. It’s important to maintain clear boundaries and ensure that the child is not exposed to the intricacies of the mediation process. Protecting the child’s emotional health should always be a top priority.

 

Don’t Rush the Process

Rushing through mediation can lead to incomplete or unsatisfactory agreements that may not fully address the needs of all parties involved. Taking the time to thoroughly discuss and consider all options is essential for reaching a well-rounded and sustainable agreement. Patience and careful deliberation ensure that the final decisions are in the best interests of the child and are more likely to be adhered to by both parties. A thoughtful and measured approach contributes to a more effective and lasting resolution.

 

By avoiding these common pitfalls, parents can navigate child access mediation more effectively, fostering a cooperative and respectful environment that prioritises the well-being of the child.