What takes place if my ex refuses to go to mediation

April 3, 2023

What Happens When Your Ex Refuses to Attend Mediation?


Divorce or separation can be an emotionally challenging time, and it’s not uncommon for couples to experience difficulties when trying to reach an agreement on issues such as child custody, financial matters, and property division. Mediation is a useful alternative to resolving disputes in court, but what happens if your ex-partner refuses to attend mediation? In this article, we will explore the implications of this situation and provide guidance on what steps you can take to resolve your family dispute.

Paragraph 1: What is Mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary process that involves both parties meeting with a neutral third-party mediator to discuss and resolve their differences. The mediator’s role is to facilitate communication, promote understanding, and assist the parties in reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement. Mediation is a confidential process, and the mediator does not have the power to make decisions on behalf of the parties.

Paragraph 2: Why Mediation is Beneficial?

There are several advantages to choosing mediation as a method of resolving disputes. Mediation is less expensive than going to court, and the parties have more control over the outcome. It’s a quicker process than going through the courts and can also help to reduce tension and hostility between the parties. In mediation, the parties can work together to find a solution that works for everyone involved, including any children.

Paragraph 3: What if Your Ex Refuses to Attend Mediation?

If your ex-partner refuses to attend mediation, it can be frustrating and upsetting. However, it’s important to remember that mediation is a voluntary process, and your ex-partner cannot be forced to attend. There are several reasons why your ex-partner may refuse to attend mediation, such as not wanting to face you, feeling intimidated, or not believing that mediation will be useful.

Paragraph 4: What Steps Can You Take?

The first step is to try to communicate with your ex-partner and find out why they are refusing to attend mediation. You could try talking to them directly or sending them a letter. If this does not work, you could suggest attending an initial meeting with the mediator to discuss the process and address any concerns your ex-partner may have. It may also be helpful to suggest using a different mediator if your ex-partner is uncomfortable with the current mediator.

Paragraph 5: What if Mediation is Still Refused?

If your ex-partner still refuses to attend mediation, you may need to consider other options. You could try using a solicitor or a collaborative lawyer to negotiate on your behalf. Another option is to apply to the court for a formal order, such as a child arrangement order or a financial order. However, this is a more expensive and time-consuming process than mediation, and it’s important to weigh up the pros and cons before making a decision.


In conclusion, mediation is an effective way to resolve family disputes, but it’s important to remember that it’s a voluntary process. If your ex-partner refuses to attend mediation, it can be frustrating, but there are still options available to you. By communicating with your ex-partner and exploring other options, such as using a solicitor or applying to the court, you can find a way to resolve your dispute and move forward. Aspire Family Mediation is here to help you through every step of the process, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need our assistance.