How to be a terrific co parent with an ex when you still have feelings

Excelling in Co-Parenting with an Ex When Feelings Linger


Navigating the complexities of co-parenting can be challenging, especially when feelings for your ex-partner persist. However, fostering a healthy environment for your child is paramount. In this article, we’ll provide a comprehensive guide on how to excel in co-parenting with an ex, even when emotions run high. By following these strategies, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for your child while ensuring that your own emotional needs are met.

I. Establishing Boundaries and Communication

  1. Set clear boundaries: Defining personal boundaries is crucial when co-parenting. Establish expectations and limits with your ex-partner, such as when and how to communicate or interact during pick-up and drop-off times.

  2. Develop a communication plan: Choose a preferred method of communication, such as email or text messaging, and stick to it. This will help maintain consistency and create a record of your interactions.

  3. Focus on the child: Keep conversations child-centric and avoid discussing personal issues or past relationship problems. This helps maintain a professional and respectful dynamic.

  4. Use neutral language: When discussing issues, avoid accusatory language and adopt a problem-solving approach. This will minimize conflicts and promote productive discussions.

II. Creating a Consistent Environment

  1. Establish a routine: Consistency is essential for your child’s well-being. Develop a schedule that includes regular routines for meals, bedtime, and other daily activities.

  2. Coordinate parenting styles: Discuss your parenting philosophies and agree on a consistent approach to discipline, rewards, and boundaries.

  3. Share important information: Communicate about your child’s needs, progress, and achievements to keep both parents informed and engaged in their development.

III. Prioritizing Emotional Health

  1. Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize and accept your lingering emotions for your ex-partner. This awareness will help you manage them effectively during co-parenting interactions.

  2. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to discuss your feelings and gain perspective. Support networks are essential during challenging times.

  3. Focus on self-care: Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation to maintain a healthy balance.

IV. Resolving Disputes

  1. Stay solution-oriented: When disagreements arise, focus on finding a resolution that benefits your child rather than proving your point.

  2. Consult a mediator: If disputes become unmanageable, consider seeking assistance from a professional mediator, such as Aspire Family Mediation (, to help resolve conflicts.

  3. Be open to compromise: Flexibility and compromise are essential in successful co-parenting arrangements. Strive to find solutions that satisfy both parties and prioritize your child’s best interests.

V. The Advantages of Successful Co-Parenting

  1. Emotional stability for your child: A well-functioning co-parenting relationship provides your child with a stable and nurturing environment.

  2. Improved communication skills: Effective communication between co-parents fosters a respectful and collaborative dynamic.

  3. Reduced stress and anxiety: By managing lingering feelings and prioritizing emotional health, both parents can reduce stress and anxiety associated with co-parenting.


Co-parenting with an ex when feelings still linger can be challenging, but it is possible to create a harmonious and nurturing environment for your child. Establishing boundaries, maintaining open communication, and prioritizing emotional well-being are essential steps in mastering the art of co-parenting